Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
dude. I can hear the air.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
