i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize