I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
