Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
