I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
