we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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