who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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