dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
