If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i've created a new STD.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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