dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
