I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize