he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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