I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
