I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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