Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
