Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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