Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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