For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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