So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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