All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
