Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
