Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
