i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
