that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
