i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She bit a glass in half.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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