how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
