I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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