Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
