Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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