you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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