I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
