I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize