is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
either way he was missing a nipple.
He felt like a one man threesome
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
