You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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