I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
