Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
