I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
