I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
