It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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