I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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