it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
