Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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