i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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