Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
