I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
