508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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