i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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