he shaved USA in his pubs
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
