my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
