Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
