Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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