Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
