Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
