wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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