? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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