hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
